


Mapple Adv.

by tamagoyaki (orphan_account)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Actor Tenn, Baker Mitsuki, Big Eater Tamaki, Director Yamato, Idol Momo, Idol Yuki, M/M, Model Gaku, Model Nagi, Olympic Medallist Ryuu, Songwriter Sougo, Voice Actor Riku, Youtuber Iori, chat fic, variety shows
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-12 01:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16863925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/tamagoyaki
Summary: Yamato’s brow twitches fervently as he reaches down to his back pocket, pulling out a sleek device.“…Really?” He facepalms himself at the name of the chat group he just opened. “‘Entertainment Group – 3 members online: Your objective is to survive this game’. Just… really?”Alternatively, 12 strangers are kidnapped. They find themselves in a game of Life or Death.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> \+ Captions on the right are what's shown on a full screen in variety shows.  
> \+ They're based on wassupman and the usual variety shows.
> 
>  
> 
> \+ C1 is something like a prologue to show where the 12 characters are in their current lives, so please skip to C2 for the actual start of the games. 

(4th December 2018)

(In a certain place. At a certain time.)

[Camera #02 - 07:25AM]

_Bzzt._

The camera buzzes to life. Filming at a disorientating angle that suggests it’s upside down, a single movement at the peripheral edges catches its attention. The motion-automated technology raises itself soundlessly to capture the four bare grey walls of the room. Without any exit in sight, one would not hesitate to assume it’s an abandoned warehouse of sorts. It’s devoid of life… or is it?

“Argh…”

The camera zooms in on the figure curled up in the corner.

Its owner scatches his mused head as he rises from the sheets, taking in his surroundings dazedly.

“Where… is this?” Furrowed brows comes into view. The bare-faced man pushes up his glasses, squinting. He’s almost unrecognizable, completely inelegant as he wipes the drool from his lips. “…Hah… Five more minutes.” He curls back to sleep.

(Sir, we’re filming (￣ ￣|||))

(Now, Ignoring the one without a sense of time)

[Camera #05 - 07:28AM]

“Ah… urgh-!”

What’s the source of this strange sound?

“Kh… urgh-!” A metallic clink resounds through the room. The camera zooms in on the light-haired man who’s struggling with the door, raising his hand once more with something… shiny?

“This time for sure… One, two--!”

The metallic clink bleeds into a loud snap, the sparkly object leaping out of the pale-haired man’s reach. It lodges deep into the wall beside the camera, narrowly missing by just a few inches. The camera captures the end of the sparkly object, alongside the man who turns with lips parted in slight astonishment.

“Ah…!”

Cutting forward, we see the man stepping closer, hand reaching towards the camera.

He is a young man in his early twenties, doe-like lavender eyes peering inquisitively at the camera. With palms that hold the edges of the camera lenses gently, it’s not hard for anyone to fall for his gentlemanly demeanour and petal-like lips which pursue, slightly confused. The man reaches to the side to remove the object lodge into the wall… revealing the metallic edge of a screwdriver.

(?!)

“Ah, I’m glad. It still seems like it can be used.” The refreshing young man smiles down at the edge of the metal, plugging it back into the plastic handle. “I wouldn’t know what to do if this is ruined.”

He steps down from the chair, strutting forward as if spring has come for him.

He would make a perfect advertisement of a newly arrived spring… if not for the screwdriver he holds as he skips back to the door, lifting and bringing it back down on the doorknob. The camera cuts to the caption before another clink could resound.

(#Sadako)

(And then… There is this guy)

[Camera #04 - 07:45AM]

The lullaby plays. A single figure remains curled up in his sheets.

Fastforward to 08:30AM.

He tosses around, adjusting an arm.

Fastforward to 09:12AM

He lets out a soft whimper and scratches his face.

Fastforward to 10:25AM

The light-blue haired teen is still sleeping soundly.

(Due to a lack of content, we will move straight to the next segment)

Six men show up on their respective cameras, each either in the midst of waking or trying to escape.

Another six men soon replace them, the numbers on their cameras running up to twelve.

(Who are they…?)

[Earlier last year, if you recall, we of the very humble Mapple had a survey on our brand website!]

_The screen cuts to a mouse clicking on the google screen. ‘Mapple vote’ is searched. The vote count displayed on Mapple’s homepage is shown to keep increasing, racking up an impressive 9 million votes. A statistics page labelled ‘confidential’ shows the long page of names scrolling down. Tiny numbers beside them denote the vote count for every famous celebrity._

[We asked who you’d like to promote our next phone model, and you’ve certainly responded!]

[Through a great deal of twists and turns]

(Rejection and Heartbreak)

[And great pains that’s taken by our directors]

(✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* Our love was not to be...

...Goodbye *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧)

(#InumaruToma #IsamiHaruka #YotsubaAya)

[We’ve finally managed to secure the 12 men you’ve suggested!]

_The screen cuts forward to snippets of the twelve men, all with their faces mosaiced out like a vulgarity. Distinctive voices are reduced to minions’ pitches as one screeches in alarm, calling the others over the phone to “RUN!”. Two are wrapped around each other, limbs straining to balance on a single thin rope. A button clicks on an app to reveal the starting notes of the song which has topped Nico Charts for weeks, ‘Perfection Gimmick’ – Someone with a minion plastered over his face takes a deep breath and sings – In a minion’s tone._

(Disclaimer: None of them realize what they were getting themselves into.)

[But before we get started, let’s turn time back to June last year to see how we got our oblivious sheeps to approve of their participation.]

-

[4th June – Re:Vale Concert]

(Tickets at $300 each)

The crowd is roaring as they chime out the familiar names of the two renowned idols. Up on stage, the distinct monochrome colours of the two tall ikemen flashes, brisk limbs dancing to the beat.

The scene cuts to the dressing room, where Sunohara Momose (Stage name: Momo) grins as he flicks his partner’s long locks. The camera zooms in on Yukito Orikasa (Stage name: Yuki). The  man continues the rest of his unheard conversation, completely ignoring Momo’s playful action.

“Momo-kun, Yuki-kun!”

The camera holder walks up to them.

“Ah, Okarin! What’s up with that camera?” Momo flashes his teeth in a grin.

“We’re filming your introduction to a new variety show programme right now!” The cameraman explains. “If possible, could you give your regards to the viewers?”

“Eh?” Momo beams. “Sure! People watching out there, are you seeing this?”

He waves.

“I’m not very sure what kind of programme this is, but no matter what, Momo-chan will still do his best to make things fun for you! So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the show, okay?!” Momo winks.

“Me too.” Yuki smiles serenely. “Although this dokkiri is probably doomed from the start, I’ll play along for your entertainment—Mpfhfhfh-!” Momo slaps a hand over his mouth.

“Ahh! Please edit that part out!” Momo hisses at his husband-wife manzai partner. “Yuki, you’re being too honest-!”

(#Unedited footage)

_Two idols wake up in their respective rooms. They look around, confused._

_This program would like Re:Vale fans to know they’ve been taken with their explicit consent._

-

[29th June – Takanashi Productions – 10:45AM]

“Eh… CM…?”

Our next participant shows up on the shaky camera with a surprised look on his face. It’s the flowery gentleman from before, without a screwdriver in his hands.

“That’s right. We’ve received the offer for Aya-chan, but since she can’t make it on that day, the other side has said they’d like you to accept it.”

The accomplice, Takanashi President, age 38, taps his fingers close to the camera.

His reply brings an increasingly concerned look to the knit-wearing gentleman before him. Up and coming songwriter who’s surprisingly handsome, Osaka Sougo, looks down at his hands.

“I’m not an idol or even an entertainer… would they really be fine with me…?”

_The scene cuts to Osaka Sougo, still attacking the doorknob with his screwdriver._

“I’m sure you’ll be fine. You’ve got plenty of talent for variety in your own way!”

The accomplice, Takanashi President, age 38, has a knack for the understatement, tells his talent confidently.

“…Then, if they’re fine with having me, I’ll be happy to help promote their product.” Osaka Sougo smiles pleasantly

The door closes behind the songwriter as he leaves. Takanashi President lowers a peace sign to the camera lenses, his triumph evident even in his absence from the screen.

“I told you it’d be alright, didn’t I?”

_The scene cuts to Osaka Sougo, still attacking the doorknob with his screwdriver._

_The camera closes in to show the doorknob littered full of battle scars._

(#Understatement of the year)

-

[5th July – Izumi Bakery– 14:23PM]

Our next participant hails from a home with humble beginnings. Believe it or not, over 11 of the personal the staff contacted has strongly suggested this person. Namely, the anonymous female idol who’s at the top of Takanashi Productions ( ~~Yotsuba Aya~~ ), a member of ZOOL, the famous idol group formed through an idol survivor show ( ~~Izumi Haruka),~~ and a few other members of the Mapple staff ( ~~Camera Director, Sakura Haruki, Dessert lover, Takanashi Tsumugi~~ ).

The cameraman steps through the sweltering summer into the cool air of the bakery. They’re greeted with the welcoming smile of a young, energetic man.

“Hey~! It’s been a while!” The delightful young man laughs, clapping his hand on the cameraman’s shoulder. “How have you been doing?”

[A: I’m doing fine]

(But you won’t be.)

The camera cuts forward. The young man is mixing flour in with sugar with his hands.

“It’s always best to do it by hand—”

[A sudden cooking course out of nowhere]

(Yes, we know at least that much.)

The camera cuts forward again.

“Eh…? You want to me to come to your show programme soon?” Izumi Mitsuki, idol enthusiast, entertainment industry’s number 1 go-to-baker, chuckles. “Sure! Ring me up anytime! I’ll bring a few custard bread for you! Make sure to give me a few signatures of the idols you know! We’re all bound to have rainy days, you know!”

Izumi Mitsuki, idol enthusiast, surprisingly smart investor, soon to be seller of idol autographs (?) sees the cameraman off with a wave.

(Celebrity discounts are offered here for an autograph)

(Director discounts are too)

-

[Following Izumi Mitsuki’s enthusiastic offer to let us do whatever we want with him, this program received multiple replies to our (misdirected) invitations. Here are the videos sent by the acquaintances of our innocent (read: gullible) little lambs.]

-

[Clara Lowell Cam]

“Eh?” ‘Number 1 want to be embraced by’ part-time model, Yaotome Gaku, turns back in surprise. “Would you really do that for me?!”

He leans in, long lashes and blue Santorini orbs approaching dangerously close to the secret camera.

(We would like to remind the audience this program is rated PG13)

 _“Of course. What are friends for if we do not help one another out? I’ll direct all possible CM offers towards you. You’ll accept them, right?”_ Clara Lowell’s words are subtitled in Japanese.

“Are you kidding? Of course, I will! Losers can’t be choosers during financial downturns.” Part-time model, surprisingly in a financial crisis (?) model, Yaotome Gaku pulls back with a smile. “I’ll treat you to a bowl of soba some time! Come over to my place sometime!”

A picture of the soba noodles shows up. Clara and Gaku smiling at the camera comes up. The model has a thumbs up.

[Yaotome’s Soba]

($2 per bowl)

-

[Also Clara Lowell Cam]

“ _Oh…_ _I wouldn’t mind taking part in another CM you recommend, but there’s the matter of my backpacking.” Backpacking_  model, Rokuya Nagi, places a hand on his chest sincerely.

(#InsertEnglishConvo)

 _“Yes.”_ Nagi flashes a stunning smile. _“I’ll be staying in Japan for a while, but… Soon, I’m going to have to make my way back to Northmare. The next time I’m back in Japan… let’s see…if all things go well, it should be during spring next year.”_

Surprisingly ditzy, twenty-one year old model, Nagi beams.

_“Let’s just hope I don’t forget to bring my wallet again! Or I will have to make some stops between Japan and Northmare to earn my air ticket.”_

A tweet comes up on the screen. It’s a picture of Rokuya Nagi with his mask pulled down at the Australia airport, hauling a luggage behind him as he stares up at the flight list, utterly perplexed.

> _‘OMG IT’S ROKUYA NAGI!!! WHY IS HE HERE?!!!”_

[Answer:]

[‘He got lost at the transit.’ – Clara Lowell]

(The shoot for this program was correspondingly postponed to summer.)

-

(As expected, by now, we think you must be tired of these, so we’ll cut straight to their agreements)

>> Playing: _Monster Generation_ _♩_

-

_♩ Shaking your heart (Say!) ♩_

[Published 2nd August – ‘12 Pounds of Teriyaki Don and 5 Pints of cola’ feat. Aya by Tama-chan]

_♩ Shaking your beat (Jump!) ♩_

“A programme where I can eat all I want?”

_♩ Jidai wo kaketeku ♩_

The oogui-youtuber wolves down his don. The camera remains rolling with the idol’s soft giggles tinkling behind it.

_♩ Jump! (High!) Jump! (High!) ♩_

The program directors would like to express their earnest gratitude to Yotsuba Aya for her contribution.

_♩ Asenai GENERATiON wo ♩_

“Sure! Sign me up! I’ll show them exactly what it means to eat all you want!” Yotsuba Tamaki, a 19 year old who has yet to experience the real world, readily volunteers.

_♩ Kimi to~ ♩_

(Disclaimer: This is not an eating programme)

-

[Published 23rd August – ‘Creating Pokemon types with Kisumi’ feat. Isumi Haruka by 1or1]

_♩ One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Jump!!! ♩_

“What will you do if you’re selected for Mapple’s promotion?” Asks the idol grumpily.

_♩ Hajimari na no sa Don't look back  ♩_

“Why the sudden question?” Iori questions, filling in the colour for a wing.

_♩ Yosomi shite iru hima wa nai  ♩_

“J-Just curious!” Surprisingly bad actor, accomplice, ‘Kiss me’ scowls.

_♩ Mitsukete dashita Chance ♩_

“Hah…” Straight-laced 19 year old sighs. “I wouldn’t mind promoting them so long as it pays.”

_♩ Zettai minogasenai ♩_

-

[27th September – New Yang Nam Show]

_♩ Hashiri hajimeta Run Non stop! ♩_

“How do you feel about variety shows that require physical activities?” The emcee leans in attentively.

_♩ Me maguru shiku kawatteku Vision ♩_

“Eh?!” Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, silver medallist for swimming in the men’s section of the Olympics, looks surprised. He cracks a smile, chuckling amicably. “I think they’re fun! I’d love to participate in more of them if given the chance!”

_♩ Donna keshiki wo tsukameru darou ♩_

The emcee cackles.

Completely oblivious, the Olympic silver medallist politely chuckles alongside the emcee, unaware of the inside joke.

-

_♩ Kimi e to (Hey!) ♩  
_

[And finally, after much ordeals, we’ve managed to secure these two!]

_♩ Nagareru (Bang!) ♩_

[Ranked third in the seiyuu charts and winner of the new actor award, they’re Nanase Riku and Kujou Tenn!]

_♩ Kono Melody itsuka wa (Fly! High! Fly!) ♩_

Two written contracts are shown. Just the contracts. Their names are highlighted.

_♩ Sekai juu tabi wo shiteku you ni ♩_

(Unfortunately, because Yaotome-shi is a downer, we weren’t able to obtain some time with them)

_♩ Hibike Fly away~ ♩_

[We’ll just post some clips of them from another show here] 

> _A gasp is taken. The redhead standing at KnB's seiyuu event cups his mouth._
> 
> _"I LOVE YOU, EVERYONE!" Nanase Riku, oblivious Bunny Number 1, shouts out, beaming when the stadium packed full of audience roars in reply. He looks up at his co-star with a bright smile, shy chuckles bubbling through._

 

> _"We're busy...but our fans may be even busier. Our job is hard, but our fans' lives could be even harder. We have things we want to do but our fans might have things they want to do even more." Oblivious Bunny Number 2 looks up from the ground, eyes sharp in the extract of his most lauded film. "That's why... if we can't make every moment the best possible, there's no point in us standing onstage."_

_♩ Alright! Here we go! ♩_

_-_

_♩ Shaking your heart (Say!) ♩_

[Bearing in mind their different backgrounds and occupations]

_♩ Shaking your beat (Shout!) ♩_

[And personalities and social circles]

_♩ Todokete miseru yo ♩_

[What kind of explosive chemistry will these twelve men have when they're gathered?!]

_♩ Jump! (High!) Jump! (High!) ♩_

_♩ Asenai GENERATiON wo~ ♩_

[We look forward to what they have to show us!]

_♩ Kimi to~~~! ♩_

-

MAPPLE ADV.

(1.1: The Participants)

-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[But wait]

-

[There is still one.]

-

[Camera #02 – 08:02AM]

The screen turns back to the single man seated in his mess of sheets. The bespectacled man is waking for the second time… and he is staring, eyes twitching, at the camera.

“You guys… You know I never agreed to do this.” He says, voice filled with incredulity.

Who is this man?

[He is...!]

[The director of the famous [16 year old classroom], best new supporting actor of the year, and all time best-selling author, Nikaido Yamato!]

 (aka.)

(Demon Lord)

(aka.)

(The director who refused to direct this CM)

-

[5th January 2017 – [16 Year Old Classroom] Set]

(Brought to you by the current director)

“Nope.” Nikaido Yamato leans against the edge of his seat. “No means no already. How persistent are you guys going to be?”

“But, Yamato-san…!” The cameraman, Sakura Haruki, producer, In disguise, tries.

“Cut it out already. You’re being persistent.” Nikaido Yamato, age 24, an oblivious cast digging his hole deeper, sighs, putting down his script. The young director rises to his feet. “Whether it’s being the director, or writing up a script for you… I refuse to take part in a CM. I only take charge of the works I’ve made from scratch. Whether it’s [16 Year old classroom] or any other work… I have my own work policy.”

(A strict director who makes his own works through and through, the entertainment world knows this man as the Demon Lord.)

(But that’s exactly what we’re after)

(aka. Revenge)

“Even if you can’t take up those positions, could you at least star in our CM?!”

“Huh?” Yamato turns to give them an odd look. “You… You’re telling me to star in a commercial with this face of mine?”

(Correction: The demon lord with a surprising complex?)

“I’m going to be embarrassed if some other CM plays right after me, right?! Like, Rokuya Nagi’s. Or even Yaotome Gaku’s. Hell, even hearing Nanase Riku’s voice after mine makes me super embarrassed.” The director rattles off.

His guesses are so accurate, it startles the current-director of this show. The young lamb already shows signs of becoming great at that moment of time. And it seems he realizes his own unpolished talent as well.

“At least make it a variety if you’re going to have me! Big Brother’s charm lies most in my personality, you know?” Yamato huffs.

(In other words…)

(You will join if we make it a variety show?)

“Look. I’m not your director, alright? Why don’t you go ahead and do the math yourself?” Yamato snaps.

The demon lord slaps his palm with his rolled up script. He calls out to the other cameramen.

“Break’s over! Let’s get back to filming scene B21!”

(Thus, in lieu of his suggestion, this program was born.)

-

[Camera #02 – 08:03AM]

“G-Gh…” Yamato’s brows remain twitching. “One of these days, I swear… I’m definitely boycotting mapple.”

He sighs, searching the room for any signs of an object. He finds no such thing.

“So, what do I have to do to get out of here? Are the others even aware that this is a game show?”

Something beeps in the room.

[Camera #06 – 08:03AM]

“ _Oh?_ ” Rokuya Nagi looks down at his tailcoat.

[Camera #05 – 08:03AM]

_Knockknockknockknock—_

“Eh?” Sadako looks up from his assault on the doorknob. There’s a phone lying in his sheets.

[Camera #02 – 08:03AM]

Yamato’s brow twitches fervently as he reaches down to his back pocket, pulling out a sleek device.

“…Really?” He facepalms himself at the name of the chat group he just opened. “‘Entertainment Group – 3 members online: Your objective is to survive this game’. Just… really?”

(Yes, really.)


	2. Chapter 2

MAPPLE ADV.

(1.2)

-

[Camera #03]

_Knock Knock._

_Knock Knock._

(?)

_Knock Knock!_

The tiny midget of a man gropes around the wall, pressing the side of his face close against rock. He raps gently, hoping to scope out a hollow spot.

[Camera #04]

“ _Oh…_ Where is this?” The beautiful man holds his head, disorientated.

[Camera #10]

_BANG!_

The whole world shakes with the wall trembling in wake of yet another attack.

A dark silhouette is shown to back up several steps.

_BANG!_

Yet another attack shakes the entire camera. But finally, its angle is adjusted to catch the deep-seated scowl on the face of the hulk of a man.

(S-Scary (￣ ￣|||))

[Camera #09]

The camera is adjusted by pale hands.

Pink ombres stare into it with endless depths, a single finger curled around his chin pensively.

[Everyone appears to have woken up]

(Save for this guy)

[Camera #04]

The blue haired teen gives a loud snore, turning in his sleep.

[With that, let’s begin the game, shall we?]

 

BZZT

 

Five men jump in their respective rooms, turning around, startled. One remains totally oblivious to the world.

Another six men are quick to replace these six men on the screen.

“W-What’s that?” The frightened redhead can be heard to murmur. His voice overlaps with the grey-haired model who furrows his brows. “What was that?!”

[Camera #03]

In the privacy of his room, Izumi Mitsuki pulls out the phone from his front pocket with brows scrunched up in confusion. He looks down, disorientated, at the screen for a second.

“This… isn’t mine.”

Izumi Mitsuki, celebrity chef (?), age 23’s first reaction to receiving a phone that isn’t his is to turn it on regardless. A fine slide of his thumb against the screen sees the phone opening without a lock. Amber eyes take in the words whilst squinting, utterly perplexed lips pursuing into a frown.

[You might be wondering… What is it that we used to garner their attention?]

[This is what we sent them!]

 

[Entertainment Group | Avengers Group]

[Phantom: Welcome…To our Paradise]

[Phantom: From this moment on, you will be participating in an exciting game of Life or Death with the five others of your team]

[Phantom: Your goal is to survive this game with or without your groupmates]

[Phantom: Round 1 shall begin shortly]

 

Mitsuki gapes, jaw falling in the perfect image of flabbergasted.

“What the heck is this?”

[Camera #04]

“ _OH!_ ” Rokuya Nagi gasps, hands flying to his cheeks. “We’ve been—”

[Camera #09]

“…Kidnapped?” Kujou Tenn echoes the same sentiment, slightly stunned.

[Camera #08]

“Don’t screw with me.” Yaotome Gaku scowls down at the screen.

[Camera #07]

“What should I do? I don’t have my inhaler—” Nanase Riku backs up and knocks into his device by his side. The redheaded ditzy young man pauses and looks down. “…Oh.” He picks it up, tucks it into the crevice of his hand securely.

“What should I do? Tenn-Nii… he’s going to worried.” Riku smiles, scratching his cheek lightly.

(We would focus on this sweet brotherly love, but before that, here are some more of their reactions)

[Camera #04]

(Again)

“ _OH NO!_ BUT TONIGHT THERE’S _KOKONA_ IN REAL TIME!” Rokuya Nagi drops to his knees, screaming into the air.

[Camera #05]

“This can’t be happening to me. This can’t be happening.” Osaka Sougo’s face goes dark.

[Camera #04]

_………………SNORE~_

[Camera #11]

“It’s a dokkiri!” Sunohara Momose aka, Momo (As the production crew has been told to use by his manager) snaps his fingers.

[Camera #12]

“This is definitely a dokkiri.” Closing his eyes elegantly, Yukito Orikasa aka. Yuki, concludes.

[Camera #02]

“You guys, you sure have a twisted sense of humour.” Nikaido Yamato tells the camera, eyes twitching as the edges of his lips pulled up in a forced, tight smile. The camera zooms in to focus on his nostrils. A black box censors his mouth, bullet sounds bleeping out the director’s name. “******-san, don’t think you’ll get off lightly when I get out of here, alright?”

Yamato gives a dark smile.

“I’ll do everything in my power to return the favour.”

(Youths… They sure are frightening, aren’t they?)

[Camera #01]

A single teen sits stiffly in his room.

With hands gripping the edges of his phone tightly, youtube animator, 1or1, slowly lifts his thumbs to type out a single response.

 

 

 

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Iori: What exactly is this?]

[Camera #02]

“Tsk.” Yamato tuts, brushing down the back of his head. “You guys… You sure didn’t let them in on this project even the slightest bit, huh.”

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Mitsuki: No clue.]

[Camera #02]

“I got it.” Yamato sighs, exasperated. “Big Brother will play along for the time being too.” He snickers as he lifts his phone to type into it. “I’m no mood crasher afterall. And for all I know, playing with these kids may be more entertaining than it seems.”

[Entertainment Group]

[N. Yamato: This… Isn’t it a dokkiri?]

(You call this playing along, Yamato-kun?)

(#YamatoStrikesAgain)

 

 

[Meanwhile, on the other side]

[Camera #11]

“Hmmmmmmm………” Momo, Occupation: Idol, the distance between him and the camera is 5 centimetres, the distance between Re:Vale fans and peach-induced heart attack is 5 more seconds, stares intensely into the camera lens.

He pulls back, laughing lightheartedly.

“This,” He gestures in the direction of his phone. “I should definitely play along to make things fun, right?”

The camera cuts forward. Momo smiles as he types, leaning into a hand.

“I wonder if my darling is here~”

 [Avengers Group]

[S. Momose: W-What do you mean?]

[S. Momose: That you’ve kidnapped us?!]

[Camera #12]

“Momo is here… and he is playing along,” Yuki hums, looking contemplatively to the side. “In that case, should I back him up?”

[Avengers Group]

[Y. Orikasa: More specifically… what do you mean by a game?]

[Y. Orikasa: Is there something you intend to do to us?]

[Camera #09]

Kujou Tenn frowns hard as he leans in to type.

[Avengers Group]

[K. Tenn: Momo-san, Yuki-san, could you quit it with this sub-par acting?]

[K. Tenn: And also… You. The one calling yourself Phantom.]

[K. Tenn: Let me out of here at once.]

[K. Tenn: This isn’t amusing in the least.]

[OH…!]

[Not even 3 minutes into the game and we’ve already been called out on our lie?!]

[We’ll return to them in a minute]

 

 

[♩In the Mean Time♩]

[Camera #05]

Osaka Sougo turns all the paler, hunching down as he looks at his phone.

“T-This is… a dokkiri…?”

The programme reminds its audience of how Osaka Sougo had paled when talks of a CM had initially came up during his talk with his manager. And how Osaka Sougo had stubbed his toe moments before due to rumours of said CM coming up.

Something snaps, sharp and loud in the empty room.

The camera zooms in on the edge of the screwdriver, digging into the ground.

(!!!)

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Iori: A dokkiri…]

[I. Iori: I highly doubt that is true.]

[I. Iori: Our captors have taken great pains and time to capture us, put us into separate rooms, and trapped us in without an exit.]

[I. Iori: There’s no way this isn’t a death game hoping to make light of our suffering.]

[N. Yamato: …Are you aware of how contradictory you sound right now?]

[I. Iori: More importantly]

[I. Iori: Are you alright, Nii-san?]

[I. Mitsuki: What are you talking about?]

[I. Iori: On my way home, I saw the guys who were taking us hit you hard on the head.]

[I. Iori: It looked like it really hurt, so without thinking, I leapt out.]

(What is Player Iori talking about…?)

[To know that, we’ll turn time back to a few hours ago]

_The shaky amateur camera work shows three gruff men stalking up to surround Izumi Mitsuki. Please excuse the shady camera work, because the staff was too busy laughing at the lame acting of Cameraman #01, Cameraman #02, and Sound Director Sakura._

_“O-oi! What are you doing?!” The orange haired midget backs up a step, intimidated. Nevertheless, still a true man at heart, Izumi Mitsuki scowls at his shady assaulters. “Why are you after -MPFPHPHFPHF-!”_

_One man lifts a weapon and whacks him over the head. Said weapon, being a sakurabo. Another lunges around Izumi Mitsuki and presses a cloth to his mouth._

_With struggles quickly weakening, Izumi Mitsuki quickly slumps into his grip._

_A loud gasp sounds out of nowhere._

_The cameraman swerves in surprise to catch Izumi Iori on shaking camera._

_“Nii-san…!” An unexpected appearance! “Where are you bringing him?!”_

_Izumi Iori dashes right into their accepting embrace._

[The program would like the audience to know government approved gas has been used in the knocking out of Izumi Mitsuki and Izumi Iori]

(PS. The sound director mourns the loss of his Sakurabo.)

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Mitsuki: Eh?! I was hit?!]

[I. Mitsuki: Urgh… I don’t recall a thing about it…]

[I. Iori: I’d bet.]

[I. Mitsuki: Or rather, you shouldn’t have tried to follow after me, idiot. You got taken too because of that, didn’t you?!]

[Camera #03]

Despite his texts, Mitsuki smiles, eyes just a tad proud, even if slightly troubled as he peers at his phone.

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Iori: My own brother was being taken away. How could I stand still without doing a thing?]

[Camera #01]

Along with his words, Iori is covering his face with the back of his hand, just a bit embarrassed.

(✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*  Even when they’re apart…

…these brothers remain connected by their emotions. *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧)

 

 

 

[Meanwhile]

[Avengers Team]

[N. Riku: Tenn-Nii!]

[N. Riku: You’re here too?]

[K. Tenn: Riku?]

[Camera #09]

Kujou Tenn puts down his phone, eyes glaring daggers into the camera.

“For you to go through the trouble to involve Riku in this… It seems like you’re really desperate for this program to go well. I guess I’ve got no choice but to play along if that’s the case.” He sighs, pink ombres falling shut.

“But…Listen,” Pink ombres part once again, this time carrying a menacing shard in them. “If something happens to Riku, I’d—”

_BEEEEEEP_

(Censored to keep our rating PG13)

[Camera #07]

“Heheh… To think Tenn-Nii is captured too,” Nanase Riku, Innocent, scratches the side of his cheek with a coy but torn smile. “It’s bad, right? To feel happy about it? Somehow, just having Tenn-Nii around is so reassuring!”

(#BroCon2018)

[Camera #10]

“Hurgh-!” _SLAM._ “Hurgh!” Ryuu continues throwing himself at the wall.

[Camera #08]

“Nanase Riku and Kujou Tenn, huh…” Yaotome Gaku, Lives Under a Rock, frowns, stroking a chin thoughtfully. “Where have I heard those names before?”

 

 

 

[Entertainment Group]

[N. Yamato: I’ll just go ahead and ask, but]

[N. Yamato: Besides Mitsu, and Icchi, who else is in this group?]

[Camera #02]

“There’s no way you chose anyone normal.” Yamato, Insightful Bastard, scowls at the camera.

[Entertainment Group]

[O. Sougo: I’m here.]

[N. Yamato: And you are?]

[O. Sougo: Ah… Erm, I am Osaka Sougo.]

[O. Sougo: Even though I’m still an amateur songwriter, it’s a pleasure to meet you.]

[Camera #01]

“A songwriter?” Iori blinks.

[Camera #03]

“Heh… Isn’t that amazing?” Mitsuki’s eyes widen, amazed.

[Camera #02]

“I knew it.” Yamato bows before the editing team’s fine skills. Background info: Osaka Sougo is a rising name for BGM.

[Entertainment Group]

[N. Yamato: Mh. Okay. It’s nice to meet you too.]

[I. Mitsuki: Don’t be so cold, Yamato! Introduce yourself too!]

[N. Yamato: The name’s Nikaido Yamato. Age 24. Currently a bachelor and looking for a girlfriend.]

[I. Mitsuki: We totally didn’t need to know that. (￣д￣;)ノ]

[Camera #02]

“I might as well milk this for all it’s worth, you know.” Yamato shrugs.

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Mitsuki: Alright! I’m up next, alright?]

[I. Mitsuki: I am Izumi Mitsuki, age 23. Profession: Baker. I don’t really know how I got here, but since we’re here, let’s get along and do our best to survive this game!]

[Camera #05]

Sougo smiles, relieved.

The editing team is relieved too to find the screwdriver leaving where it’d been embedded in the ground.

“Mitsuki-san seems like a nice person… I’m glad.”

(We’re glad too.)

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Iori: And next, I suppose it’s my turn, isn’t it?]

[I. Iori: I am Izumi Iori, age 19. I’m a full time college student with a major in mathematics]

[I. Mitsuki: And he’s the little brother I’m proud of!]

[I. Iori: Nii-san!]

[Camera #01]

Iori hides his face away in lieu of embarrassment.

[Camera #02]

“I don’t suppose these two are anywhere near normal either, are they?” Yamato, Sharp, lifts a dubious brow.

[Entertainment Group]

[O. Sougo: I should just ask to confirm but]

[O. Sougo: The remaining members are present too… right?]

[R. Nagi: _Oh, yes… That’s right._ ]

[I. Mitsuki: What are you doing typing in English for?! (￣д￣;)ノ]

[Camera #04]

A very solemn Nagi is shown on screen.

[Entertainment Group]

[R. Nagi: Today is a very dark day which may never come again]

[I. Mitsuki: …Huh?]

[R. Nagi: Let’s work together and get out of this place so we can all return to _Magical_ _☆_ _Kokona_!]

[I. Mitsuki: That’s the reason you were so depressed?!]

[N. Yamato: I thought someone close to you died.]

[I. Mitsuki: And also! You never introduced yourself!]

[Camera #04]

Nagi Valhart Von North whimpers like a cute puppy.

(To all Nagi Valhart Von North Fans:

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* You’re welcome. *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧)

[Entertainment Group]

[R. Nagi : _BUT!_ ]

[R. Nagi: _My MAGICAL_ _☆_ _KOKONA!_ ]

[O. Sougo: There, there]

[O. Sougo: We’ll get back as soon as we survive this game]

[O. Sougo: Kokona-chan will be waiting for you, alright?]

[R. Nagi: _Oh… Sougo…_ ]

[Camera #04]

Nagi sniffles.

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Mitsuki: Sougo, you’re too nice to him.]

[O. Sougo: It can’t be helped. Nagi-kun has his own circumstances too.]

[Camera #02]

“Nagi…Wait a moment,” Yamato hums, sweatdropping in unease. “And this foreign accent… Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

(The Bachelor senses the end of his love life before it even began.)

[Entertainment Group]

[R. Nagi: You are very kind, _Sougo_ ]

[R. Nagi: My name is Rokuya Nagi _dearimasu_. I am _21._ It’s a pleasure to meet you.]

[O. Sougo: It’s nice to meet you too.]

[N. Yamato: Same here.]

[Camera #02]

“It can’t be, can it?” Yamato’s brows remain twitching.

(In any case)

[The Entertainment Group gets along well.]

 

 

[On the other side]

[Avengers Group]

(Still Silence (￣ ￣|||))

[Camera #07]

“Nnngh…” Nanase Riku, Bored, groans. He makes a face that’s utterly strained on him. But also, still adorable. The production team would like the audience to know half the proceeds of Riku merchs are going to Yaotome Productions.

Nanase Riku collapses, cheek pressing against the ground.

“I can’t wait anymore… I’m so bored… Why isn’t anyone talking in the group?”

[Turning time back to a couple of minutes before]

[Camera #11]

“Oh!” Momo blinks, grinning. “Chat list button – found!”

He makes a peace sign at the camera, snickering.

“With this, I can talk to darling in private anytime!”

[Momo – Yuki Private Chat]

[S. Momose: Darling~!]

[S. Momose: I’m home!]

[S. Momose: How have you been doing?! ˶⚈Ɛ⚈˵]

[S. Momose: Did the production team sneak you out of house while you’re in your Momo underpants? +｡ﾟφ(ゝω・｀○)+｡ﾟ]

[Camera #12]

“That’s sexual harassment, Momo.” Yuki smiles, before frowning as he fumbles with the device. “How do I get out of this chat to private message?”

(#TechnologyLudditeYuki)

[Avengers Group]

[N. Riku: Hey, shall we talk about something while we’re waiting?]

[N. Riku: I wonder when the game will be starting…]

[K. Tenn: You’re not supposed to look forward to that, Riku]

[N. Riku: Tenn-Nii! What have you been doing?]

[K. Tenn: Nothing. I was just meditating.]

(The Production Team would like the audience to know Kujou Tenn’s lectures last an eternity)

[N. Riku: I see. Well, Tenn-Nii’s job is tiring afterall!]

[K. Tenn: I’ll live]

[K. Tenn: More importantly, to the rest of the people in this chatroom… would you mind speaking up?]

[Camera #10]

 _BANG!_ The wall still refuses to budge.

Silver Medallist Ryuu pants as he slides down the wall, looking down at his phone.

[Avengers Group]

[T. Ryuu: Ah, sorry! I was so busy trying to find a way out, I forgot to send a message about it!]

[N. Riku: ?]

[K. Tenn: …You are?]

[T. Ryuu: Ah. Right]

[T. Ryuu: I am Tsunashi Ryuunosuke, though just ‘Ryuu’ is fine with me.]

[T. Ryuu: You might not know me, but I appeared on a few CM recently. Like, the one with the perfume brand Dutchess?]

[N. Riku: AH!]

[T. Ryuu: Eh?!]

[N. Riku: Tsunashi Ryuu… You’re the one who won the Olympic Man’s Swimming Section, right?!]

[N. Riku: Amazing… You’re famous! ٩(⚈o⚈)۶ ]

[Camera #10]

Ryuu pursues his lips, donning a slightly troubled smile.

[Avengers Group]

[T. Ryuu: Thank you! I’m honoured that you know me!]

[T. Ryuu: Even though I don’t have much free time, I watched both of your movies in the theatres recently!]

[T. Ryuu: Kujou-san’s part in ‘Idolish7’ was inspiring… and Nanase-san, your line as Kuroko-kun when he cried… It was deeply moving!]

[N. Riku: Eh… You flatter me, Ryuu-san! (^^ゞ ]

[K. Tenn: Just ‘Tenn’ is fine.]

[N. Riku: And just call me Riku! I’m younger afterall!]

[T. Ryuu: I got it!]

[K. Tenn: More importantly, I’ve been meaning to raise this topic since just now, but doesn’t anyone think that it’s suspicious? For so many renown entertainers to be gathered in once place.]

[N. Riku: Eh?]

[T. Ryuu: What do you mean?]

[Camera #09]

Kujou Tenn looks to briefly up from his phone to glance at the camera. He sighs lightly, exasperated.

[Avengers Group]

[K. Tenn: Momo-san, Yuki-san, you’re here, aren’t you?]

[K. Tenn: I’d like to clarify something with you]

[S. Momose: Yessir~~~~~~~!]

[Y. Orikasa: Sorry. I was learning how to get out of this chatgroup]

[T. Ryuu: Such a thing… It’s possible?]

[S. Momose: Urgh ACKSHDJ another Yuki is here]

[Y. Orikasa: Excuse me. Could you be more sensitive of my feelings, Momo?]

[S. Momose: I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you! Is a double chocolate ice cream good enough?!]

[Y. Orikasa: I’m not such a cheap man]

[S. Momose: Eh, no way! Forgive me, Yuki~~~ (.づ◡﹏◡)づ. ]

[N. Riku: Eh ahaha! There it is! It’s Re:Vale’s Husband and Wife Manzai act!]

[T. Ryuu: Lol You guys sure are amusing!]

[K. Tenn: ……..]

[S. Momose: Sorry, sorry! What did you want to ask, Tenn?]

 

 

 

[Entertainment Group | Avengers Group]

[Phantom: The game shall commence now.]

 

 

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Mitsuki; EH?! Now?!]

[I. Iori: But everyone has yet to assemble]

[R. Nagi: _Hurry up_ and let me get back to _my Kokona!_ ]

[Camera #02]

“You guys are just milking this situation for what it’s worth, aren’t you?”

Age 24, Nikaido Yamato, a Sloth, slouches in his half-lying position. He ruffles a hand through his hair lazily.

[Camera #04]

Yotsuba Tamaki, Still Sleeping, snores.

[Entertainment Group]

[Phantom: Y. Tamaki shall receive his fair share of penalties during the game. Should he be unavailable to complete the 1st Round of the game, Entertainment Group shall be eliminated.]

[I. Mitsuki: Oi, are you joking with us?!]

[I. Mitsuki: Hurry up and respond, Y. Tamaki! Whoever the hell you are!]

[Camera #03]

Mitsuki looks ready to rip his hair out.

[Entertainment Group]

[O. Sougo: I wonder what will happen to those who get eliminated…]

[N. Yamato: Well, going by the normal convention… They die.]

[Camera #06]

Total Silence.

Nagi shrieks.

[Entertainment Group]

[R. Nagi: _NO!_ I don’t want to die! I want to watch tonight’s _Magical Kokona_ in real time! I want to make my _AnimeCon Debute!_ ]

[R. Nagi: _Mr. Tamaki, please_ respond!]

[Camera #04]

SNORE~

 

 

[On the other side]

[Avengers Group]

[N. Riku: Eh… No way]

[S. Momose: I’m scared, Yuki! Hug me!]

[Y. Orikasa: I would if hands are able to pass through screens, Momo]

[Y. Orikasa: I feel plenty insecure without you here.]

[Camera #09]

“…” Tenn pursues his lips.

[Avengers Group]

[T. Ryuu: But our final member still isn’t here yet]

[Y. Gaku: I’m here.]

[T. Ryuu: Eh]

[Camera #10]

Ryuu blinks, stunned speechless.

[Camera #08]

Gaku presses his lips into a thin line as he stares at his phone, typing.

[Avengers Group]

[Y. Gaku: Like I said, I’m here.]

[Y. Gaku: I’ve been here since just now]

[Camera #07]

“No way…”

[Camera #09]

Kujou Tenn, Somehow the Dad of the family, takes a deep breath and lets it out.

[Avengers Group]

[K. Tenn: You’re late.]

[K. Tenn: What have you been doing till now?]

[Camera #08]

The screen zooms out to show a hole coalesced around a tiny segment of the wall.

A single metal spoon shines near Yaotome Gaku, ‘My Spoon’ believer, in his blazer pocket.

[Avengers Group]

[Y. Gaku: I’ve been digging a way out since just now.]

[S. Momose: No way…]

[Y. Orikasa: Are you for real?]

[Y. Gaku: What about it?]

Complete silence dawns upon the 6 men.

(It’s at this point that the Avengers Group realize Ryuu and Riku may not be the most thick-headed one of the group.)

 

 

[Entertainment Group | Avengers Group]

[Phantom: We will now explain the rules of Round 1]

 

 

[Entertainment Group]

[I. Mitsuki: HOLD ON, I SAID!]

[R. Nagi: _PLEASE…_ DON’T KILL ME!]

-

MAPPLE ADV.

(1.2: The Groups)

**Author's Note:**

> Please kudos/bookmark/subscribe/comment to indicate your interest! It’d be nice if everyone read to the end! (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)


End file.
